Every workplace has rules written in the handbook and rules that nobody writes down. The written ones cover policies like leave and security. The unwritten ones cover things like how fast people reply to messages, whether cameras stay on in meetings and who cleans the coffee machine.
New hires often learn these unwritten rules by accident. This guide covers the basics that apply in most workplaces and shows you how to learn the specific norms of your own team.
Time and reliability
- Be on time for work and meetings. If you will be late, message your manager or the meeting organizer before the start time, not after.
- Do what you said you would do, by when you said. If a deadline is at risk, warn people early and propose a new time.
- Respect others’ calendars. Check availability before booking meetings, include an agenda and keep meetings short.
Reliability is the foundation of trust, especially for new employees.
Communication basics
- Use a clear subject line.
- Keep messages short, with the request or key point near the top.
- Reply within a working day, even if only to say “I’ll get back to you by Thursday.”
- Use “Reply all” only when everyone needs the reply.
- Double-check attachments and recipients before sending.
Our guide to writing a professional email for your first job covers structure in detail.
Chat tools
- Write complete messages rather than “Hi” followed by a long pause.
- Use threads to keep conversations organized.
- Respect status indicators and focus time.
- Move sensitive or complex discussions to a call.
- Be careful with jokes and emoji until you understand the team’s tone.
See our guide to Slack and Teams etiquette for more.
Tone
Be friendly, clear and respectful. When in doubt, be slightly more formal than you think necessary, then relax as you learn the team’s style.
Meetings
- Join on time, prepared, having read any materials.
- Mute when not speaking on calls with background noise.
- Follow the team’s norm on cameras; if unsure, keep your camera on for the first few meetings.
- Contribute when you have something useful; asking a thoughtful question counts.
- Avoid side conversations and multitasking that others can see.
- Note action items assigned to you and follow up.
Shared spaces
- Keep your desk reasonably tidy, especially in shared or hot-desk offices.
- Clean up after yourself in the kitchen; wash your cup and label food in the fridge.
- Keep phone calls and music at a respectful volume; use headphones.
- Book shared rooms through the proper system and leave them as you found them.
- Be mindful of strong scents and smelly foods in close spaces.
Respect and inclusion
- Learn and use people’s names correctly; ask if you are unsure how to pronounce one.
- Use the names and pronouns people share for themselves.
- Avoid gossip, even when others start it.
- Keep personal opinions on sensitive topics out of work discussions unless it is clearly appropriate.
- Treat everyone with the same courtesy, regardless of role or seniority.
Technology and security
- Lock your screen when you step away.
- Never share passwords; use approved tools.
- Do not install unapproved software or use personal accounts for work data.
- Report suspicious emails to IT rather than clicking links.
- Follow rules on recording meetings and sharing documents.
Social events
Attend some team lunches or events if you can; they help you build relationships. You do not need to attend everything. If alcohol is involved, keep it moderate; you are still among colleagues.
How to learn your team’s unwritten rules
Every team differs. To learn yours:
- Observe for two weeks. Notice how people dress, when they arrive and leave, how quickly they reply and how they run meetings.
- Ask your manager or onboarding buddy directly. “Is there anything about how the team works that new people usually take a while to figure out?”
- Notice what gets praised and what causes frustration.
- Mirror respectful habits you see in well-regarded colleagues.
Write what you learn in your notes; see our guide to taking notes in your first weeks.
If you make an etiquette mistake
You might reply-all by accident or miss a meeting. Apologize briefly, fix what you can and move on. Most colleagues have made the same mistakes. Our article on handling mistakes at work explains how to respond calmly.
Watch three things this week
This week, pay attention to three things: how quickly your team replies to messages, how meetings start and end, and how people ask each other for help. Write down what you notice. Then use our first one-on-one guide to ask your manager about anything that is unclear.